too many eyes to finish! >_<

age difference
forgiving vs. being pissy

Breaking the silence and finally updating after a week (?). Pepper is here, hence a bit of lack of online contact. In addition I'm off and on babysitting a new visiter. Though! This week has been way too eventful. Mom visited, bring Pepper, then richmond buddy came by for a few hours. So I'm a little (Alright, a lotta bit) socially drained. But I'll regain my composure sure enough/be all angsty about being left alone again (cue the violins). Haven't been harvesting that many beans of late, been working odd jobs (such as drying herbs and peppers)...also slacked off a bit this week amid the social "chaos". Went canoeing again last saturday and packed tofu (Whooo...was too early and I was grumpy grump). Also went to a bar in town on Friday night for kareoke (didn't sing, but did waste some cash...sigh).

Today? Finally getting over major pissy ass mood. Mostly ticked about being called out I guess on slacking off/more or less feeling as though I've done no work this week. Pepper can't stay for longer, blah. Stressed out about him stressing out, etc. But my lesson for today- I can choose. To either be angry as hell (which oft feels quite "good") or I can go above and beyond and let it go...which I suppose has the ability to also feel "good". Was further ticked off today because work that I did with creating beds for planting garlic and onions was done incorrectly...twice. And there was a major lack of clear communication as to what the workers were supposed to do. Needless to say, I was pretty heated at wasting more time and being involved with a project in which no one knew what the hell was up, yet there are desires to get it done as soon as possible. Digression, I suppose. Anyhow! Was angry, and snippy...but later decided to give a hug to the person who more or less cause a large part of the confusion (heard they were crying...though my intial reaction was one of "so what?"). The hug, suprisingly, took off a lot of edge from my anger. It took some balls for me to actually do it/sort of had to fight with myself cause I really just wanted to keep giving the death glare and snarl...but...I guess the higher path won out? Regardless, I ended up feeling a lot better and relieved. I'm proud of myself for choosing to do something positive even though I wanted to remain sullen.

Other tidbits. I really don't notice age here at all. And I believe it's starting to make me more accepting of vast age differences in couples. I still believe that older people dating younger people are sort of ripping off the youngins. I feel as though the younger party is disregarded as anything more than a body...and that bothers me (also, I feel like the looks ratio is different in terms of value).